I want to walk on stilts...naked
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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