Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
