I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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