When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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