belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
