Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
You dont lie about slip and slides
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize