And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
