I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
