I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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