thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize
