I want to walk on stilts...naked
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
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