I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
