His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
