You really coming over, don't trick.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
