The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
