do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize