Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
