Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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