I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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