On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
