she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
