last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
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