jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
