dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
