4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
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