He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
