I think I just saw someone hide a body.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
