i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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