Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
