we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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