Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
