So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
and you fell through a lawn chair
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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