I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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