I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
You can't just leave with hair like that
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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