Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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