WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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