Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize