Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize