well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
This is my gift to your gina
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
