Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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