making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
