she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
