I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
