tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
