kristin has been a bad kristin
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
