I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
