I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
