I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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