jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
