I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
