is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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