I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize