I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
