I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
