...so i touched it.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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