Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
this is an emotional support booty call
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
