Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
So here I am, sexting at work.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
