i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
