You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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