Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
