i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize