So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
